so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize