Are we in a gay sports bar?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
