So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
