Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
