I only kidnapped one of them. chill
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
