No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize