The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
