I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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