I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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