My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
