Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
this is an emotional support booty call
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
