In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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