Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
