dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
