i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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