She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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