Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
my liver is dry heaving
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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