They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
