If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
