And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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