Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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