i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
