Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
time to smoke my breakfast
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
