IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
