Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
