No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
