I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
