It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
