Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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