yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
