I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I need to sanitize my soul.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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