i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
