The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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