I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize