walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
