yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
