And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize