Just took my morning after pill in the library
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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