Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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