I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She even gives head with a lisp.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
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