if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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