kristin has been a bad kristin
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
