I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
