this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
