he puts the penis in happiness.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
