Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
