just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Less talking, more tequila
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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