can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
