I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
