The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
