Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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