SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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