once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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