nut hugger
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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