none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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