so that wasnt chicken after all
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
