So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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