Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
