So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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