Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
