if you like me you must not know who I am
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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