can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
